a short story ....while i still have time

got to think of a good story...here's one about running from God...which is the most miserble horrable thing you can do.trust me.

THE SUMMER IN WHICH I RAN
by me

i had been living at a disciples house and hardcore serving God for a little over 6 months. i had made the mistakes of; falling in love with an unsaved girl, keeping old friends that were rotten, drinking and smoking pot again, thinking i was right instead of God or my leadership, and thinking i could change the way things were at my former residence. so i turned my back and slowly but surely disappeared from the wonderful gift God had given me. i quit my job, church, God, fellowship, devotions, life in general. my mom was constantly fighting with one of her newer (but still abusive trash like always)boyfriends and was losing custody of my brother and sister. she didn't care. i did. but i knew this would be for the better for them. i became a hermit. when my mom's boyfriend went to jail she started dating his roommate which was a drugdealer. i was smokin dope again so i figured i'd slang for my habit and for a few bucks. also i was getting more and more of the role of caretaker for my grandma laid on my plate. where ever i'd go there i was...and so was Jesus callin me home. i would get calls or run into people from church. i even ran to milwaukee for a week and God broke me there. whenever i would drink alot i'd black out and fight with people...sometimes several people. i was never like that before. i tryed to hang out and let say "hook up" with girls from my past and i couldn't even touch them. i so incredibly miserble. i would visit church occasionally and feel convicted and remember all that had gone on months before. i'd spend morings sober or hung over praying for a quick and merciful death. i had no peace what so ever. eventually i quit slanging because of the stress and conviction and ended up going back to being a hermit. then i stop seeing my supposed friends because it was the samething all the time with them; let get drunk, lets get high, oh me and my girlfriend ,lets go to the bar, just one drink, let me talk about my game boy for hours, lets waste a day watching profane stupid movies or playing video games....the list goes on of the same old crap. during this time several people even said to me "you know what you need to do". eventually i picked up the word and prayed my heart out and my eyes sore. i didn't know why God was keeping me alive. why did i deserve the right to live? i am nothing. i prayed for an abundance of the holy spirit and focus. i prayed for the ability to burn the bridges that needed to be burnt. i prayed for an oppertunity to reclaim the gracious gift God had given me. i went to church the last sunday of january and was invited out to lunch by trai-tha-rabbi(the keeper of real) and we had a long talk. at this point i was just gettin back part of my focus and thank God for that. travis(the beef) reminded me of what was happening and what could be done. he told me i should do, not just try to make it to church for the whole next month. and praise God i did. it's been over two and a half months and the Lord continues to bless my socks off. i was accepted back in to discipleship class, i help on thursdays at the coffeehouse, and i'm become the 5th beatle of street level. none of this would have been possible if i didn't lay my burden at Jesus's feet and beg. i don't why i deserve another chance. i always pray now that "i deserve to be dead. i don't deserve this life or blessings.". this pray keeps me humble and the Lord's grace keeps mr grateful. the only reason i can come up with that i'm here right now today is....Jesus loves me...plain and simple

all glory of this be given to God....i am nothing but a foolish man...and a amen to that