a swift kick to sachel.....or something like that

well...first i'd like to start by saying i'm a piece of crap...here let me explain... going bck to the post before; i'm in an interesting position to say the least, but i think my head is in the clouds. now...in any tweleve step program you have to start at one. so i had to talk alot about my former using days. it got split up into two days because of time. on the first day i spoke scripture from memory and spoke of how grateful i was to God for changing. no one had much to say. then yesterday i did the rest of my first step and didn't speak scripture(because i was warned about quating the bible) but still spoke of how grateful i am to God. when it came time for feedback people went mad. they said "i was preaching", when i didn't refer to the bible or to any of them. one person said "it sounds like you don't think you need to be here. it sounds like you think God can solve all your problems." . i thought amen to that. people were upset because i wouldn't say i was chemically dependent. the counselor said"i' m a spiritual person. i think i can go out and drink and still be in God's will." i never even got a chance to anwser as people were talking over each other to say i was "preaching". i wanted to talk about the new man and the old. i wanted to say if you can safely have a beer or two and not get trashed that's between you and God. but i could/wasn't let to get a word in edge wise. i knew some of this was healthy perscution, but i was enlightened later on about my tongue. maybe i did speak to much...maybe they were convicted...maybe i just have a big mouth. but how can a man bear his heart to others and not talk about what is filling it??? later last night God reminded me how much of a piece of crap i am and was. i had forgot about alot of stuff in the past... i remember letting my brother and sister party with me when they were young...i remember letting them use pot...i remember how selfish i was(and still can be)....i remember neglecting my family and being trashed all the time...i remember hoping to die. i got very upset last night and i knew what i had to learn and show my peers. i think my words made me look prideful and my head was in the clouds from the high of serving God. i continuely talked about being grateful, but theres a difference between grateful and humble. i don't think they understood. i think i made a bulletproof impression, when my head can splatter just as good as yours(most likely better...i got a big head). thank you God and the man (in the belly of a whale) for speak to me and for enlightening me. i chose my words more wisely today and let them know that i had been humbled. i told them about if i ran from God it would be easy for me to put on the old man and go back to my old ways. i let them know how much i cared about them and there input. i let them know i needed to be there as well.... praise God..........