new dawn fades....

i've just been lingering...lurking..whatever.. anyway, not alot is going on in my life. it has been less than a month since my grandma died and i feel...i feel diplaced... i know what needs to be done, but still i continue to lack...i just don't know.. well, i'm still alive and i'm grateful to be....and hope everyone that reads this is doing well....

"hoping for somtinng else, hoping for something more..."(joy division - "new dawn fades"),
much love,
patrick

still truckin....for the most part..

well i'm alive... there's been countless family incidents i've had to endure and problems with my own health, but today my body feels ok. not my head though. i started making music again and i'm really getting somewhere again. i'm still a paperboy but i'm looking for something ewith more hours at the moment. i'm...i don't know what else to say, except......anyone who still reads this i appreciate it. much love p

yep....alright.. oh no...hmmm

i'm working and surviving at this moment in time...i'll try and be around sometime in the near future... not a whole lot is going on with me...making music some what again...alone though..ahmm... yeah.. not a whole lot like i said... much love

k.m.p. pat

these things...

i never expected to run...but sometimes thats what happens...i know where home is and i know where i need to be....it seems as though most of my knowledge latley has been taken in vain... i finally started reading my bible again...joel almost struck me dead...it was lyrics from one of our worship songs... i wanted to cry... i know how far i've wonder.... i really need someone to lean on... not alot has been going on... i'm in denial (not eygpt), death continues to loom, i've been playing with an old band of mine and it's pretty cool..... i want the peace i once knew.... you have to stay focused on the most important thing and go from there....deal with yourself on the way...

k.m.p. p.t

i suck.....

yes i suck ladies and gentlemen...i have been struggling...as you can see i'm not around at the moment. i had been having some problems and eventually started living a double life...now i am very miserable. i keep talking to God and asking Him, "what am i to do?", "You say i will be compelete?"....so much is going on in my life....family members with diseases, laziness, insanity, thinking and feeling too much, loneliness, etc... i wish everyone is well... i hope to see you all soon....pray for me and ask God to help me feed myself....

i love you all

patrick

head like a hole and where i'm at now....

well....alot has happened...the conference is coming up this weekend and i'm very excited. i really need to get away and get fellowship time with everyone. i have been going through alot of stuff and been failing alot, but i'm not giving up. i had talks with several brothers and the Spirit has spoken and up lifted me. i finally feel like i'm getting a foot hold on where i am and need to be. this started as a different post but so much has happened that i have more to say. "head like a hole" the nine inch nails song brings up alot of good point. we take in so much everyday that we don't even realize. and if we don't pay attention we end up putting things before God... that has been happening to me and it has brought nothing but misery... my focus on other things has led to my lacking in what is true...listening to rock the flock the other day Tim spoke of doing everything for Jesus....sweating, working, serving, bleeding, suffering(with purpose)....all inall for Him....because of my lacking the Spirit convicted me... and i am grateful for it...before i was saved i would go on and on and not really realize what i was doing...now as soon as i'm in the wrong i know it...it takes action to change it and we are not alone...being a christen is putting effort forth for Christ....it can be no other way...once theres no effort, then theres the face plant of justice... i am just grateful for this body of christ and for all the love that we show each other... i've been feeling the pulse of the body and i know each of us have alot to deal with....just remember to keep your heart and ears open...listen to what is said and what God has to say... i know sometimes we don't want to here were wrong, but just learn to accept it...we're going to be wrong alot...i have along ways to go and i won't make it there with out all of you... god bless you all and much love....


glory to God

patrick j nielsen

listening when someone speaks and keeping your eyes open

well... things are better. i listened to what God had to say... i know where i am wrong and am making an effort to change... but i've been thinking alot and there is alot i have to say. i and i know most everybody has fell victim to being a hypocrite in some way or another...i have the problem (maybe it's not a problem) of not saying anything about things that others are doing that bother me. some stuff i'm just a hypocrite about and others i am just stupid about. like being distracted... my big form of distraction lately has been movies and sports...other than my physical problems... and i tend to think about dumb things that others do...but mine is just as bad...i know i'm dumb. but also i've been noticing people being very judgemenal (including me sometimes, when i don't correct myself right away). doesn't anyone remember that when you judge others you also condenm yourself...have we forgot that were all equal under God?...do we really think our preference in sin matters?...do we think that we've learned something that others don't know?...ohh..also the art and music tangent i went off on(refer to last blog), well... lets stop labeling each other and try to come together more. any gift we have is God given and He lets us speak our minds for or against Him... is God just another label for us?... i hope not... we should embrace our differences as the art and poems God made us. i wish i could have a relationship with everyone in the church because we all have the most important thing in common....yes....JESUS!!!....well i guess this is enough for now...but i'll be back.... stick love on your heart instead of a label..... glory to God and bless you all